Inside Family Counseling, LLC
  • Welcome
  • Services & Rates
    • Child & Adolescent Therapy
    • Couples & Family Therapy
    • Individual Counseling
    • Psychoanalytic Therapy
    • Group Therapy
    • Consultation
  • Specialties
    • Anxiety
    • Acting Out
    • Autism Spectrum Disorder
    • Depression
    • Eating Disorders
    • Self Injurious Behavior
    • Parenting
    • Psychosis
    • Relationships
    • Trauma
    • Trichotillomania
  • About me
  • Mental Health Digest
  • Parenting Blog
  • Contact me

3 Reasons Why It Is Important to Make Room for Romance When you Have Children

2/3/2016

Comments

 
Picture
As my husband and I are getting ready to have our second child any minute now, and in light of the upcoming Valentine’s Day, I wanted to turn to the question of parenting and romance. More specifically, I wanted to focus on 3 reasons why it is important to make room for each other when you have children.
 
Reason #1. A strong parenting couple makes for a strong family. 
This is true regardless of your children’s age. Kids don’t only need you to be united when they are toddlers and learning right from wrong or when they are teenagers, rebelling against all social rules and norms but also, when they are off to college and begin their own families. 

Many people make the common mistake to stay together for the children and then once the kids are off to college and they have to finally face each other alone in the home, they decide to divorce, thinking that the kids don’t need them anymore. 

Well, actually, they do.
Not only because they are at the age when they are exploring who they are as people and what they want to achieve in the world but also because this is the time in their lives when they get to experience the world of dating and relationships and build the foundation for their own families in the future. 

If you, as the role models for your kids and the ones, who have taught them what it means to be in a  committed relationship, cannot work things out and separate, you shatter your kids’ sense of security and trust in relationships. I hear this all the time from my clients, who after their parents divorced when they were in college, really struggled to commit and begin their own families. 


Reason #2. You as a couple is not the same as you as parents, and you need to nurture both. Let’s face it, being a parent is HARD work. Deciding on having children is a major step for any couple and you need to be aware of the sacrifices you will need to make in order to parent together. However, just because your relationship changes, it doesn’t mean that who you used to be as a couple prior to kids has to vanish completely. But, you need to put a little extra effort into trying to preserve it. 

In the midst of parenting responsibilities, school schedules and play dates, it’s very easy to forget that you both have emotional and physical needs. Making time for just the two of you will help you remember what brought you together to begin with and will strengthen your relationship as a couple. 

​
Reason #3. You are a role model to your children about what it means to be loved and in a relationship.
Again, this is true regardless of your children’s age. In fact, people begin to “learn” how to love as early as infancy - the love and care a baby receives from the primary caregivers provides the foundation for his/her later development of sense of self, self-esteem and a sense of trust in other people to be there for you and to love you. 

What does that mean for you? Well, it means that if you are not happy in your relationship as a couple, your children, who are very sensitive to their parents’ emotional states, may grow up to fear long-term commitment or may develop unhealthy patterns of relating, mirroring your relationship to your partner. This, of course, is not a conscious process and it happens almost automatically, much like how a two-year-old begins to mimic every gesture and word that you say to them. 

For that reason, it is essential that you make time to nurture, cherish and pay attention to your partner and your relationship. It may sound old school but trust me, romance doesn’t get old.


Do you have friends and family, who need a little reminder to spend time together as a couple? Share this post with them.

You may also like:
7 Secrets to a Happy Long-Term Relationship

The Role of the Father When Raising Children (Part I)
​

The Role of the Father When Raising Children (Part II) 
Comments
    Picture

    Hi, I'm Misha!

    I am a licensed clinical professional counselor and founder of Inside Family Counseling, LLC. 
    I specializes in counseling troubled children and adolescents, who face behavioral and emotional challenges at home and at school. My mission is to empower, support and guide children, adolescents and their parents to a happy and healthy family.  

    Archives

    April 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    June 2016
    April 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014

    Categories

    All
    Academics
    Acting Out
    ADHD
    Adolescence
    Anxiety
    Autism
    Behavior
    Bullying
    Child And Adolescent Counseling
    Childhood Development
    Children Fears
    Children With Special Needs
    Death
    Depression
    Diagnostic Process
    Discipline
    Emotional Development Of Children
    Family Life
    Fatherhood
    Fears
    Finding A Therapist
    Halloween
    Hitting
    Infancy
    Isolating
    Learning
    Learning Strategies
    Loss
    Moving With Kids
    Online Bullying
    Parenting
    Physical Abuse
    Profession Mother
    Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy
    Psychological Development
    School
    Self Esteem
    Self-esteem
    Self Injury
    Separation
    Special Education
    Substance Abuse
    Therapeutic Process
    Trauma
    Yelling

    RSS Feed

Location

Inside Family Counseling, LLC

Professional Counseling For You and Your Family
​
​Mihaela Bernard, MA, LCPC
111 E. First Street, Suite 101
Elmhurst, IL 60126
773-470-3106
info@mishabernard.com 
​

follow me

send me an email

Call for a free 15-minute consultation
Call now

Copyright © 2016 Inside Family Counseling, LLC. All rights reserved.