One of the most common questions that parents in my counseling private practice ask me is “How do I talk to my kids about…?” You can fill in the blank with really anything: divorce, death, loss, bullying, the differences between boys and girls, dating, sex, race, mental illness, terrorism, the list goes on. 
    I am sure we can all relate to losing a loved one, a pet or a favorite toy, and it can be just as hard for the adults if not harder, to cope with the loss as it is for the kids. For this reason, I am going to talk about how do we discuss death and loss with our children and what can we do to overcome it.
    The first and most important thing we need to do when talking to our children about any difficult topic but especially about death and loss is to

• Name the loss. This is usually the most important, yet sometimes most difficult part for parents and caregivers. We tell ourselves that kids are too young to understand. Or we want to protect them and we tend to spare them the truth. However, it’s essential that we put into words our children’s experiences because words bind the anxiety associated with the unknown and eventually, provide a sense of relief. 

As a parent, noticing that something may be different about your baby can be quite worrisome. Naturally, if you are a worrier (and what mother isn't), your mind may jump to various, scary scenarios. Questions like "Is something wrong with my baby?" "Is my baby autistic?," "Is s/he developmentally delayed?," "Is this normal?", "Do I need to worry" are not unusual, especially for a first-time parent.

If you do what most people do nowadays, you are probably frantically researching countless of websites, blog posts and articles to help you find some answers, which may have lead you to this post. Many parenting posts mention that each child is different and takes things at his/her own pace, leaving it open for interpretation if your baby is indeed delayed in their development. That can be even more confusing.

Wondering if psychoanalytic psychotherapy is right for your child? It can be nerve-wracking to bring your child to a therapist, let alone a psychoanalytic psychotherapist. To help you make an informed decision about what kind of therapy you need for your kid and to give you a taste of what you will be getting yourself into if you choose psychoanalytic psychotherapy, let me share my process when I first meet a family, who needs my help.

Step 1: The diagnostic assessment: This typically takes between 4 to 5 sessions and allows me to assess the history of the presenting problem, the psycho-social and developmental history of the child/adolescent and their current academic, social and family functioning.

• Meeting with the parents: Usually, I request to meet with the parents first so that I can hear their concerns and begin gathering psycho-social and developmental history of the child. If the child is an adolescent, this may happen over the phone but I do request to meet with parents personally so that we can work together to best help their kid. In addition, I often meet with each parent individually as well to discuss their perspective of the child's struggles and assess the family environment.